Endigar 371 ~ Accepting Our Humanness

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

We finally saw that the inventory should be ours, not the other man’s.  So we admitted our wrongs honestly and became willing to set these matters straight.  (As Bill Sees It, page 222)

Why is it that the alcoholic is so unwilling to accept responsibility?  I used to drink because of the things that other people did to me.  Once I came to A.A. I was told to look at where I had been wrong.  What did I have to do with all these different matters?  When I simply accepted that I had a part in them, I was able to put it on paper and see it for what it was – humanness.  I am not expected to be perfect!  I have made errors before and I will make them again.  To be honest about them allows me to accept them – and myself – and those with whom I had the differences;  from there, recovery is just a short distance ahead.



For me, when I made my list of resentments, I primarily resented my own weakness and God’s apathy.  Everyone else played minor roles reflecting this primary inner conflict.  Working the 4th step lead me to a personal list of damning expectations that I placed on myself, on God, and on others.  I completed the 4th step three times over the course of several years, and on the final round my sponsor wrote in red ink, “Rule 62.”  The story of Rule 62 can be found in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions talking about tradition 4, pages 146 – 149.  It is simply a call for humility that will save the alcoholic / addict from the tyranny of these damning expectations.  Rule 62: “Don’t take yourself too damn seriously.”

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