Endigar 356 ~ Prayer: It Works
From Today’s Daily Reflections;
It has been well said that “almost the only scoffers at prayer are those who never tried it enough.” (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 97)
Having grown up in an agnostic household, I felt somewhat foolish when I first tried praying. I know there was a Higher Power working in my life – how else was I staying sober? – but I certainly wasn’t convinced he/she/it wanted to hear my prayers. People who had what I wanted said prayer was an important part of practicing the program, so I persevered. With a commitment to daily prayer, I was comfortable with my place in the world. In other words, life became easier and less of a struggle. I’m still not sure who, or what, listens to my prayers, but I’d never stop saying them for the simple reason that they work.
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I have five types of prayer that I have developed in my recovered faith.
Ritual Prayer. I know that I am supposed to pray in recovery and that it is a big part of Step 11. I seek to create a habit with a specific time, a discipline, that will honor the importance of prayer even when I do not feel like doing it. Unfortunately, my disciplines have a shelf life of approximately two weeks. So I often have to go through a process of self-persuasion to get back on track. Gratitude lists are helpful, because I forget the important and fall into old ways of reacting to the “urgent.” When I use this prayer, it works.
This brings me to the second type of prayer.
Panic Prayer. When I stop being proactive in my recovery, and wait until the pain finds me, I remember my Great Source and dial in a 911 prayer. I never feel judged or rejected in this scenario. I have to fight old religious shame and remember the care and love of my Higher Power. So, when I use this prayer, it works.
Relationship Prayer. This is my favorite. I just talk to and practice listening for Gomu (God of my understanding). I learn the most during this time and feel the comfort of a continual, loving presence. Fear and shame melt away. My intuitive skills grow. The only time that I am blocked from this prayer is when my anxiety blindsides me and then I realize that Fear also has a voice, and my intuitive skills hear it screaming in my ear. This is why I need serenity in my life, and I import this quality by developing meditation. I need it to stay connected to my Higher Power. When I am connected, this prayer definitely works.
Service Prayer. When I am feeling powerlessness settle over me I ask for ways to serve, and the will to fulfill whatever opportunities come to me. I use my support network to attempt to filter out isolating ego. I want to help others not because I am cured and have THE ANSWER, but because we are all in this together. Our service should strengthen our connections, not exalt my rule over the fellowship. I seek only to fulfill the tasks given to me in prayer; nothing more and nothing less. This develops a connective, healing power in my life. When I use this type of prayer, it works.
Lost Child Prayer. Sometimes I find myself lost in a chaos storm. Nothing makes sense and I seem to easily forget all that I have learned. I may have relapsed, but that is not always the case. My intuitive senses are darkened. I may be afraid, or I may just feel numb. No matter who I talk to, I cannot retain their comfort or wisdom. I do not know why I get like this sometimes, but I do. In the mire of my spiritual disorientation, I reach out calling for Gomu. I believe this is why I “keep coming back” in the face of multiple relapses. I just keep reaching for whatever help I can get to. So far, this prayer has always eventually worked.
I hope this is helpful. I do care. More importantly, I know Gomu cares and we are all in this together. I believe this is why prayer works.
Daily Reprieve 
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