Endigar 154

When I first came into this program, there was someone who I talked to, who had the same sponsor as I did.  He was really one of my first contacts in the recovery network.  As time went on, he quit coming.  There was no answer on his cell phone.  Time passed, I would think of him as I trudged forward on the road to happy destiny.  What happened to him? 

Tonight, he reappeared.  He made it back in, and he is married and has a baby.  I cannot even begin to express the genuine relief  and joy I felt when I saw him.  If I was a woman, I would have wept right there.  Instead we joked and tussled about in a more masculine fashion. 

Now that I am alone, I weep.  He carries my stepson’s name.  He has a similar appearance.  And I buried my son last year because of this damned disease.   Sometimes I regret that I did not discover this way of life sooner.  I am so sorry that the best I had to offer him was religious fear. 

But I guess, in a way, he is with me as I join with others in our recovery meetings.  The significance of his life and death are apart of what it took to get me where I am today. 

I still love and miss him.


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