Endigar 105

This is a quote from the Big Book, page 103:

Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcohol problem, but we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility.  Drinkers will not stand for it.

After all, our problems were of our own making.  Bottles were only a symbol.  Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything.  We have to!

I have struggled with the correct response to this congressional.  In reality, it is miraculous that I did not take a harder hit from my misdeeds.  It was a disease I allowed to get out of control.  Why should I expect those who know little or nothing about this disease to behave as if they do?  Did they not do me a favor in the long run by allowing me to experience significant consequences for my actions?  How much longer would I have clung to the illusion that I could turn the disease on and off to serve my purposes? 

The more I struggle with appealing the false elements of this evaluation, the more stressful and dirty I feel.  This is not good for sobriety, for my long term spiritual health.  I cannot wrap myself in a victim’s mantel.  I will not manipulate the system to agree with my self-pity.  I am responsible for my own actions.  I am not afraid to be accountable.

I am going to thank Senator Sessions for his assistance, write a letter expressing my perspective of the incident, and asked that it be included with the evaluation.  If the Army Reserve wants to take any corrective action, so be it.  But as for me, I am grateful to have another shot at living, and at serving this country I love.

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