Endigar 86

“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.”  From page 417 of the Big Book.  It was prescribed to me in my first time through treatment.  I have acceptance issues.  I found many situations unacceptable in my life.  It was a declaration that I would not release the impossible to change category into that category.  I might still be able to undo this and make it closer to the way it is supposed to be.  The text goes on to say, “When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation – some FACT OF MY LIFE – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.” 

I am going to go to several military recruiters initually, following my intuitive understanding, and continue to knock on the door of opportunity.  Will it be answered by civilian or military officials?  I have impact, but I do not have control on how that impact will play out.  Letting go is a difficult process for me.  Going to bed and accepting that the day is OVER.  I cannot do anything else.  Slow down emotional responses if I cannot stop them altogether.  Become alert to the flow of things, move with them, grasshopper.  OK, goodnight.

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