Endigar 59

There is a balance between setting boundaries, and making time to include others in my life.  Too much of a fortress can become a life-starving prison.  Demolition of the walls altogether allows life to loot the market of my soul.  It is hard being a father on a part time basis.  I love them some deeply.  But this balance is hard to maintain as they are here and then gone and then back again. 

I am re-learning to connect with others, to have and enjoy relationships while also learning to love and respect myself.  I have the two greatest offspring in the universe.  I have time with my father, to get to know the man who endured much in life to do what needed to be done.  And I have my consensual slave, who has come to know her Master like no other person on this planet. 

And I have this Entity, this friend and guide in life, the Higher Power.  “Just call Me John.”  Sometimes male, sometimes female, always a great help and comfort to me.  It is far superior to what I had among the churchians.  It is akin to the freedom of my childhood experiences with the early magic of Christmas as the practice of intuitive interaction allows me to unwrap one gift after another.  And none of these gifts or insights cause me to lose this new-found freedom in the pursuit of spiritual development.  For this one reason alone, I am thankful that I am an alcoholic who was forced to find recovery to stay alive.

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