Endigar 039

I am stumbling around looking for some safe place, some anodyne location in my brain.  Missed meetings again.  Trepidation about an amends I need to make.  The congressional looming in the shadows of my daily activity.  My time has been held hostage by school or work most of my life.  I come to life only during off times and transitional Sabbaths of social exclusion.  How can I practice an “honest” program when so much of my life is what others need it to be?  Who the hell am I?  Do I take the blue pill or the red one?  I laid down for a nap, and had some nightmares of going to a hospital and being admitted, seeing the dead ones, and children afraid as a parade of spectres ran over their huddled bodies and into some portal of oblivion.  Another chaos storm passing through.  I guess I should go attempt getting some more sleep.

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