Daily Reprieve

From Courage to Change of Oct 24:

The process of recovery in Al-Anon has been likened to peeling an onion. We peel away a layer at a time, often shedding a few tears as we do.

But recovery always makes me think of the bark of a birch tree. The birch’s bark is necessary for protection, yet as the tree grows, the bark peels away gradually of its own accord. If it is removed prematurely – by a deer scraping his antlers or a porcupine searching for food the tree is wounded and becomes vulnerable to infection, fungus, and insects.

Like the birch tree, I can be wounded if I am prematurely stripped of my defenses. Most of us have spent a significant amount of time trying to cope with these wounds from the past rather than growing and changing. But in Al-Anon I am encouraged to grow at my own pace. As I do, I find some of my defenses and ideas too tight, too limiting. And so I slough them off, just as the birch releases its old skin. They are no longer needed.

Today’s Reminder

I have an innate ability to heal and to grow. I don’t need to force myself to change. All I have to do is show up and be willing. When I am ready, the changes will come easily.

“We all have our own answers within ourselves and can find them with the help of our Al-Anon program and a Higher Power.” ~ In All Our Affairs

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Recovery has a gentle pace that is a counterpoint to the urgency that trauma often breeds. Like the birch tree that slowly outgrows its protective bark, the wisdom of the 12 Steps is grown over time. Bark, like our emotional defenses, once had a purpose: it kept the living tissue safe from harm. The problem arises not in the bark itself, but when it no longer fits the size of our soul.

The idea that growth doesn’t need to be forced is a profound corrective to the self-punishing tendencies that many of us bring into recovery. For years, we’ve confused “doing better” with “being worthy.” But the birch doesn’t rush its peeling—it trusts the rhythm of its own life force. Likewise, the spiritual invitation of Al-Anon isn’t to dismantle ourselves but to outgrow what no longer protects us. When the bark peels naturally, the wound is replaced by a light and new surface.

There’s a humility here that honors divine timing: “When I am ready, the changes will come easily.” This is the serenity of true willingness—showing up, not fixing. It’s the trust that a Power greater than our anxious mind is guiding the slow unveiling of our truer self.

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