Endigar 980
From Courage to Change of Aug 05:
Resentments poisoned most of my waking hours before I found Al-Anon. I could keep a fire under a resentment for days, or years, by constantly justifying why I felt the way I did. Today, although it is important to notice my feelings, I don’t have to continually rehearse and re-hears my grievances. It’s not necessary to keep reviewing how I have been hurt, to assign blame, or to determine damages.
Ultimately, I may not resolve everything with the person in question – though that might be pleasant if it came to pass. I just want to be rid of the resentment because it prevents me from experiencing joy. I try to shift my energy to where it will do some good. I apply Steps Six and Seven because, to me, the way to let go of resentment is to turn to my Higher Power. I want to become entirely ready to have my Higher Power lift it, and I humbly ask for help.
Today’s Reminder
If I am holding a resentment, I can simply ask for relief, for peace of mind in the present moment. I will remind myself that this relief will come in God’s time. Then I can grow quiet, be patent, and wait.
“No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.” ~ George Jean Nathan
END OF QUOTE—————————————
Before Al-Anon, I lived like a blacksmith of bitterness—hammering my pain on the anvil of justification. I would feed the flames of my resentments with stories, evidence, indignation. I needed them to feel real, to feel righteous. In some twisted way, they gave me purpose. They made me feel strong… or at least not powerless.
But over time, I began to notice that these resentments weren’t armor—they were acid. They didn’t protect me; they corroded my joy. They poisoned my quiet moments and shadowed my attempts at peace. They stole the present by chaining me to a past I couldn’t change and a future I feared repeating.
In recovery, I’ve come to understand that my feelings are valid, but they are not sovereign. I don’t have to kneel at their altar every time they cry out. I don’t have to rehearse the injury or assign moral scores. I don’t have to play judge and jury in a courtroom where I am both plaintiff and prisoner.
I ask my Higher Power to lift it—to take this burden from my hands and replace it with peace, even if it’s just for now. And sometimes, that’s enough.
Sometimes, all I need is to stop fanning the fire. To grow still. To wait in patience and trust.
Because the miracle isn’t that the resentment vanishes overnight.
The miracle is that I am no longer alone with it.
“If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don’t really want it for them and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love.” ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, page 552 (3rd Edition, page 544)
Daily Reprieve 
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