Endigar 943
From Courage to Change of Jul 04:
Tradition Three reminds me of two aspects of Al-Anon that I cherish. First, I know that I can go to a meeting anywhere in the world and expect to find no other affiliation promoted by the group. The members will not try to sell me a religion, a treatment program, a therapy, a political platform, or anything else. Should any individual in the fellowship discuss any of these with me, I am free to take what I like and leave the rest.
Second, I know that I meet the sole requirements for membership in Al-Anon: I have encountered a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. I do not have to dress, act, feel, speak, or work a certain way to belong, I do not have to believe or disbelieve. I am free to be myself. This is a come-as-you-are program.
Today’s Reminder
Al-Anon has come to my support – undiluted and with no strings attached – when I have needed it. I hope to pass it on in the same spirit.
“Tradition Three explains two ways in which my Al-Anon friends and I can keep it simple. One is to avoid being diverted from our program by others, and two is to welcome into Al-Anon anyone who is suffering from the effects of another’s alcoholism.” ~ Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions
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Al-Anon Tradition Three: The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al‑Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.
Reading Tradition Three through the lens of my own journey, I’m reminded how crucial simplicity and clarity have been in my healing. There’s a quiet relief in knowing I don’t have to qualify myself beyond what I’ve already lived. The pain I carried from someone else’s drinking was more than enough to earn me a seat. That’s it. That’s all. And that is everything.
The first part of the Tradition reassures me that this fellowship doesn’t ask for anything beyond my honesty. I don’t need to adopt a belief system, perform a role, or align with anyone’s agenda. This open-handed welcome was life-giving. I didn’t have to defend my right to be there—I could just breathe.
I’ve had people in meetings share strong opinions, and I’ve learned that Al-Anon gives me the dignity to decide what speaks to me and what doesn’t. I’m not here to be convinced—I’m here to recover. “Take what you like and leave the rest” isn’t just a slogan; it’s a lifeline for someone like me who has spent years trying to please others, fit in, or earn a place.
The second part hits home, too: I don’t have to clean myself up to belong. Al-Anon met me at my messiest—grieving, angry, confused—and said, “Welcome.” That radical inclusiveness gave me permission to begin. It taught me that healing doesn’t start when I’m fixed; it starts when I show up.
Daily Reprieve 
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