Endigar 895
Courage to Change of Jun 2:
One gift of being a longtime Al-Anon member is that I have accumulated a large supply of healthy, positive experiences which remind me that my Higher Power is worthy of my trust. Although I have faced many challenges and difficulties over the years, my Higher Power has never let me down. This hasn’t prevented me from having problems; if that had been the case, I would have missed out on life-changing lessons I might not have learned any other way. Instead, I was given challenges and opportunities – but never more that I could handle. Even when I feared that my circumstances were too much for me, help, guidance, and comfort were always there.
Today when I encounter a crisis, I have no need to fear. My own experience teaches me that I can rely on a Power greater than myself to help me through whatever happens. At first, I had to “act as if” I believed that I’d be cared for. But each time I took this risk, I observed the results. Again and again, my Higher Power stepped in to help. I have never once regretted my decision to trust.
Today’s Reminder
Each day is an opportunity to build a supply of positive experiences. Today I will take note of what happens when I trust my Higher Power.
“By far the best proof is experience.”
~ Francis Bacon
END OF QUOTE—————————————
Francis Bacon and the English monarch of the time, King James I, both were pedophiles by today’s standards. Bacon is considered the Father of Empiricism and the Bible project under the reign of his King created a source authority for the Christian Protestant religions, the King James Bible. There is some pretty significant evidence that both of these men used young boys for sexual satisfaction. When Bacon was 45, he took a 13-year-old bride, Alice Barnham. So, the quoted assertion that the best proof is experience takes a bit of a twisted turn in my own mind. These fathers of science and religion had achieved what Joe Rogan calls “escape velocity” in any attempts to hold them accountable at the time. There is also the distinct possibility that there is some character assassination that has integrated itself into the historical record. But when I see the quote by Francis Bacon, my mind causes it to transform:
“My consuming lust was to experience their bodies.”
~ Jeffery Dahmer
I have experiences with seeking the Higher Power that honors the big picture of reality and sometimes disregards the significance of the individual, such as the death of my infant son in Augsburg Germany, the post-marital apocalypse of divorce for words that I wrote in a journal, the death of my stepson, the robbing of my own childhood development, and the witch hunt betrayal of church leaders. I have acceptance issues.
Out of these horrendous events in my life, I have seen “lost child” introspection develop into writing skill and depth of thought. I have experienced a heart of empathy for those that suffer but fight to live. I have seen the chaos storm of “life’s terms” free me from social constraints allowing me to become open to something more useful than scientific nihilism and religious dogma. I have found the God of my own understanding only after surrendering to alcoholic isolation to weather the big picture of God’s will.
I have experienced something genuine in the spiritual pursuit encouraged in the recovery rooms of the 12 Step program. Something out there does seem to give damn about us. But I have a healthy respect for the cruelty of the big picture psychopathy of my Higher Power. I have been in the military and know that the mission outweighs the significance of individuals on the battlefield. The only path of sanity in such circumstances is acceptance of big picture cruelty as one of life’s terms. When such a time comes, we most hold on to one another and be better than our God to each other. Later we may understand. And I will continue to seek conscious contact, because, for the most part, it works in making me a better person.
“Tyger, Tyger, burning bright, in the forests of the night, …Did he who made the Lamb make thee?”
~ William Blake from The Tyger
Daily Reprieve 
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