Endigar 892
From Courage to Change of May 30:
As a result of living in a household where alcohol was abused, the concept of being gentle with myself was foreign. What was familiar was striving for perfection and hating myself whenever I fell short of my goals.
I first heard, “Be gentle with yourself,” at an Al-Anon meeting. I had a hard time with the idea until I put my imagination to work. I pictured myself finding a kitten and holding it in my cupped hands. I imagined the feelings I might have toward this sweet creature — tenderness, patience compassion, wonder, and love. I quickly put myself in the kitten’s place and focused all of those gentle feelings in my own direction. It worked!
As I have grown in Al-Anon, I have come to see that my Higher Power holds me in the same gentle way–protecting me, guiding me, and loving me every day.
Today’s Reminder
If I am being hard on myself, I can stop and remember that I deserve gentleness and understanding from myself. Being human is not a character defect! Today I will be gentle with my humanness.
“The question is not what a man can scorn, or disparage, or find fault with, but what he can love, and value, and appreciate.”
~ John Ruskin
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The greatest care I knew to give myself was to find ways to enter oblivion. No more ridiculous expectations. No more vacuum-packed living. No more embracing of titles only a child would not be embarrassed to accept. That was me being gentle with myself. That was me being a very ill informed third parent as I moved into adult life. The Twelve Step program and the AA / Al-Anon fellowships helped me to recognize that I was responsible for the little one within my core. Today I enter the placenta of this Earthbound spiritual gestation and seek to make sure that precious fetus of self-awareness receives from me what my family of origin simply could not give. It is time to recreate my life.
Daily Reprieve 
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