Endigar 861 ~ Utility of Thought
REF: Endigar 842
Al-Anon has helped me complete what Alcholics Anonymous started. I had identified the destructive internal mantras that I had both inherited and produced. I wrote them down in 2011. Finally, I have replaced them with a more useful way of thinking. Today, I write and publish them. I will make them a page on this site and will update them as life learning dictates. It will be a fluid document. But I want one post were I celebrate the production of some hard fought internal transformation. Here it is:
God and I are one, even though I am not God. This is the paradoxical truth that makes me free in recovery and life. Improving my communication skills between my truest Self and my Higher Power is a key element to spiritual growth and empowerment. God ignores my linguistics degree in manipulation.
God is an investor in my Intent of Will and asks that I surrender my fears, trade them in for trust in a covenant relationship between the Higher Power and myself.
God is my Life Source urging me toward expressive experience. He / She is God of everything or nothing in my life. I chose the former in a Step 3 covenant reaffirmation.
LOVE: Love is a transformative magic, a learned skill, and the primary weapon against personal fear and self-hatred. The 12 Steps provides a way for me to refine its potency in my life.
HUMILITY: My family icon of protective pride lacks the potency I need to live. The concepts that I value will be heard as I listen to the concepts that others value. There is no stronger presence then the God of my understanding in the true expression of my life. As a connected being it is impossible for me to be dismissed. The confidence that comes from humility will answer the pride that comes from fear.
COURAGE: My unaddressed, personal guilt makes me afraid that my internal monster will find external expression in others. Keeping my moral inventory updated and maintaining a quick response to any necessary ammends allows me to see the true from the false and quit chasing shadow dragrons. A clean sword will fulfill the function for which it was forged.
I am devoted to the building of family that actuates its member individuals, resulting in two statements on powerful self-expression. One of those ideas is that there is no failure except the surrender to personal entropy. An actuated life refreshes its own sources.
I am devoted to the building of family that actuates its member individuals, resulting in two statements on powerful self-expression. One of those ideas is that one can drink freely of the pools of their genetic memory if they can see clearly their own reflection in its waters.
I have identified my antisocial anxiety as a lifelong problem. As I build tools to put it into remission, I can use the balance of my internal creativity with my external productivity as a litmus for successful treatment.
To my own higher Self I will be true, and as sure as the cool embrace of night follows the pulsing activity of daylight; I will not be false to anyone. I will speak as if moving a piece in a great game of chess, and I will listen as if taking in the overall picture of the board.
Daily Reprieve 
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