Endigar 723 ~ Weeding the Garden

From the Daily Reflections of March 04;

The essence of all growth is a willingness to make a change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails. (As Bill Sees It, page 115).

By the time I had reached Step Three I had been freed of my dependence on alcohol, but bitter experience has shown me that continuous sobriety requires continuous effort. Every now and then I pause to take a good look at my progress. More and more of my garden is weeded each time I look, but each time I also find new weeds sprouting where I thought I had made my final pass with the blade. As I head back to get the newly sprouted weed (it’s easier when they are young), I take a moment to admire how lush the growing vegetables and flowers are, and my labors are rewarded. My sobriety grows and bears fruit.





For me, it is important to tell the difference between responsibility and slavery. Responsibility is the result of my informed consent, my personal plan of growth, and my devotion to aggressive self-care. The purpose for weeding the garden is to create a fertile environment for the development of crops and the birth of beauty in my own heart.

Slavery weeding is a facade masquerading as responsibility. There is no personal investment in the soil of my heart through thoughtful planning or a strong “yes!” of consent to that hope delivered in meditation with my Higher Power. I comply to but never obey the voice of my strongest Self. I never own the Garden in which I labor.

I have run from slavery and then found myself running from responsibility as well. My work strengthens me, my slavery buries me. It is important for me to know the difference when I am called to til the ground. AA and some other intimate voices have helped me to love my work.

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