Endigar 701 ~ Expectations vs Demands

From the Daily Reflections of February 14;

Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house.  (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 98).

Dealing with expectations is a frequent topic at meetings. It isn’t wrong to expect progress of myself, good things from life, or decent treatment from others. Where I get into trouble is when my expectations become demands. I will fall short of what I wish to be and situations will go in ways I do not like, because people will let me down sometimes. The only question is: “What am I going to do about it?” Wallow in self-pity or anger; retaliate and make a bad situation worse; or will I trust in God’s power to bring blessings on the messes in which I find myself? Will I ask Him what I should be learning; do I keep on doing the right things I know how to do, no matter what; do I take time to share my faith and blessings with others?

 

END OF QUOTE

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I am tired of not knowing how my years are going to play out. The fear of the unknown swirling chaos of life tears open my chest and invades me deeply with a great sense of being in exile. I fight back to regain my solid self and take a piece of the planet that responds when I say “mine.” There is no way to escape the echoes of loss or the years of waste. I am here.

The Gomu (God of my understanding) does not seem to be offended or disgusted or panicked by my fearful expectations when we meet and find one another, each day. I relax and take it easy. I have something personal, intimate, and specific to me as an individual because my significance is revealed in this new trust with an infinite Entity some call God.

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