Endigar 665 ~ The 100% Step
From the Daily Reflections of January 11;
Only Step One, where we made the 100 percent admission we were powerless over alcohol, can be practiced with absolute perfection. (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 68)
Long before I was able to obtain sobriety in A.A., I knew without a doubt that alcohol was killing me, yet even with this knowledge, I was unable to stop drinking. So, when faced with Step One, I found it easy to admit that I lacked the power to not drink. But was my life unmanageable? Never! Five months after coming into A.A., I was drinking again and wondered why.
Later on, back in A.A. and smarting from my wounds, I learned that Step One is the only Step that can be taken 100%. And that the only way to take it 100% is to take 100% of the Step. That was many twenty-four hours ago and I haven’t had to take Step One again.
END OF QUOTE
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To succeed at that which destroys my life and all that I love is no success at all. My alcoholic life is one of steady debilitation and it cannot be managed. All my plans are designed for damage control and finding ways to endure the demands of steady intoxication. I can only seriously entertain ideas of empowerment and control during periods of abstinence. Once the liquor burns my gut, there is nothing to do but drink more to hide from this humiliating reality.
Outside my connection with Gomu (God of my understanding), I am powerless over alcohol which results in an unmanageable life.
Although I may begin with this knowing, let me not rest in this dark place. Don’t open my eyes and leave me here. If there is no solution, help me to return to the lie.
There is a solution, but it requires that I am completely aware of this reality of my life.
Daily Reprieve 
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