Endigar 602 ~ Stepping Into the Sunlight
From the Daily Reflections of November 9;
But first of all we shall want sunlight; nothing much can grow in the dark. Meditation is our step out into the sun. (As Bill Sees It, page 10)
Sometimes I think I don’t have time for prayer and meditation, forgetting that I always found the time to drink. It is possible to make time for anything I want to do if I want it badly enough. When I start the routine of prayer and meditation, it’s a good idea to plan to devote a small amount of time to it. I read a page from our Fellowship’s books in the morning, and say “Thank You, God,” when I go to bed at night. As prayer becomes a habit, I will increase the time spent on it, without even noticing the foray it makes into my busy day. If I have trouble praying, I just repeat the Lord’s Prayer because it really covers everything. Then I think of what I can be grateful for and say a word of thanks.
I don’t need to shut myself in a closet to pray. It can be done even in a room full of people. I just remove myself mentally for an instant. As the practice of prayer continues, I will find I don’t need words, for God can, and does, hear my thoughts through silence.
END OF QUOTE
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I find the quote from “As Bill Sees It” amusing since I talked of finding comfort in the darkness for my meditation. Now, I do seek casual communication throughout the day, with the practice of attending to that intuitive voice I credit to Gomu (God of my understanding). After publishing Endigar 601, I came across a good article that I found synchronistic. So I will publish it here to share with you;
Meditation is essential to my life. It wasn’t always that way.
I’ve flirted with meditation for years, starting at the age of 23. Living in San Francisco at the time, I was introduced to TM (otherwise know as Transcendental Meditation — yes, the one made famous by the Beatles). It scared me a little, because I didn’t understand how it worked. It seemed almost mystical. I’d read all the research and was impressed by the long list of incredible, positive things it was said to address, including anxiety and stress, while generally promoting tranquility in a hectic life.
The promise of all of that was intriguing, but it took me another three years before I went back and actually took a class. From that moment, I sensed something shifting, but my mind continued to resist. I was skeptical. How could meditation possibly do all of these things? Could it really be that easy?
Because I struggled with panic attacks and chronic anxiety, just picking up meditation here and there helped immensely, but only for short periods of time. Soon after feeling better, I would revert back to old behaviors. I found it difficult to sit still for 20 minutes consistently, twice a day. Sometimes the time flew by, and other times I couldn’t bear to sit in the silence, alone with my non-stop internal dialog. My thoughts lined up, one after the other, like planes on a runway at takeoff.
I lost patience in those moments, so meditation went back on the shelf, and I continued to flirt with it for the next 10 years. I brought it out only when I felt I needed it most. Each time I tried something new — a guided mediation, breathing meditation, TM or even walking meditation. They all made me feel grounded and calm, but I could never commit to a regular practice.
In the midst of creating my company and leaping into a new career, I finally got serious. I listened to my instinct and committed to my meditation practice. I have meditated almost everyday since. When I have missed a day here and there, I really notice the difference. I can feel something’s absent and I get right back to it the following day. Since I’m running a business, my schedule is so limited that if I have to choose between meditation or a workout, I choose meditation nine times out of 10.
I make this choice everyday because of the benefits I feel in my life through meditating. First and foremost, meditation calms me. It slows everything down. Whatever is going on in my life at that exact moment just stops. It allows me to breathe consciously and just Be. It doesn’t stop the thoughts, and it shouldn’t. They continue, but I witness them rather than react to them. I just allow them to float through my mind as I repeat my mantra. Sometimes the feeling I get can be deep, powerful, and spiritual, which offers great clarity. Other times, I feel refreshed, as if I took a quick power nap, but I always feel calm and grounded.
For me, becoming a meditator has been a deep learning process. It wasn’t something I picked up and loved immediately, even though I knew it was good for me. It took time and lots of patience with myself to get to this point. I have much more inner calm and an ability to trust myself. It’s helped me make choices to live my life in a way that’s right for me. Meditation is essential to my life.
I know that I will meditate for the rest of my life. In fact, I’ve decided to deepen my own practice by training to become a meditation teacher. I’m going in with no expectations, just an open mind to learn more about myself.
Meditation is a personal experience, and everyone’s path is different. I encourage you to stick with it, even if you want to give up. Remember it’s a practice. If you don’t get it on the first, second or even third try, it’s OK, don’t get too frustrated. It may mean you just haven’t found the type of meditation that works for you, and you need to experiment further. Like anything worthwhile in life, the benefits will develop over time.
Let go and trust yourself.
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SOURCE: “What’s So Special About Meditation” by Julie Sacks
Image Source: Jordan Siemens via Getty Images
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