Endigar 597 ~ A Daily Discipline

From the Daily Reflections of November 4;

. . . when they [self-examination, meditation and prayer] are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakable foundation for life.  (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 98)

The last three Steps of the program invoke God’s loving discipline upon my willful nature. If I devote just a few moments every night to a review of the highlights of my day, along with an acknowledgement of those aspects that didn’t please me so much, I gain a personal history of myself, one that is essential to my journey into self-discovery. I was able to note my growth, or lack of it, and to ask in prayerful meditation to be relieved of those continuing shortcomings that cause me pain. Meditation and prayer also teach me the art of focusing and listening. I find that the turmoil of the day gets tuned out as I pray for His will and guidance. The practice of asking Him to help me in my strivings for perfection puts a new slant on the tedium of any day, because I know there is honor in any job done well. The daily discipline of prayer and meditation will keep me in fit spiritual condition, able to face whatever the day brings-without the thought of a drink.

 

END OF QUOTE

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balance_by_apocalypticart4-d4f42s4

I am looking for a balanced ego that can embrace such simple disciplines.  My ego chafes at its place of submission with a Higher Power.  It uses the art of extremes to assert its independence, and that is when I am cut off from the life-giving source of the Infinite One.  I either go limp or I play god.  Becoming limp initially seems spiritual.  I have “surrendered” and I am no longer in control.  Whatever happens, God rules, while I drool.  Life piles up on me, and I feel abandoned.  Then I decide to go to the other extreme and face life on my terms.  I slash and burn my way trying to achieve an unassailable fortress, finding instead an inescapable prison.

For me, I have had to understand what part of life belongs to a very real and active God, and what part of life belongs to an embryonic god (another way of saying child of god) such as myself.  God is in charge of the RESULTS of my life, and I am in charge of the WORK that is revealed as I go along. Knowing I am an embryonic god means that if I do not work in my life, it does not get done.  Going limp is not an option.  When I attempt to take my finite understanding and order the Universe as pleases my imagination, I am going to meat a great deal of resistance.  The daily discipline of AA helps me to know my work, my place, and share a vision with Gomu.

(Image Credit: “Balance” by QuantomStarBox )

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