Endigar 594 ~ I Cannot Change the Wind
From the Daily Reflections of November 1;
It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 85)
My first sponsor told me there were two things to say about prayer and meditation: first, I had to start and second, I had to continue. When I came to A.A. my spiritual life was bankrupt; if I considered God at all, He was to be called upon only when my self-will was incapable of a task or when overwhelming fears had eroded my ego.
Today I am grateful for a new life, one in which my prayers are those of thanksgiving. My prayer time is more for listening than for talking. I know today that if I cannot change the wind, I can adjust my sail. I know the difference between superstition and spirituality. I know there is a graceful way of being right, and many ways to be wrong.
END OF QUOTE
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Long before I activated my alcoholism, I learned to pray. How I prayed was a good indication of my own spiritual welfare. My prayer life is an ongoing interaction that intensifies that becomes difficult when I give way to fear and anxiety. This, for me, is where learning to find serenity is important. Fear has its own voice and it dresses up as God. When I fall into fear, I relinquish pursuit of intuitive understanding and send out a petition to overcome the anxiety. I do the next right thing until I can detect a loving and caring voice once again. The practice of finding reasons to be grateful helps regain serenity. If I stop praying and seeking conscious contact with my Higher Power, I not only assume responsibility for the work I am her to perform, but I begin taking over the results. The results are not in my control. The work is.
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