Endigar 576 ~ My Checklist, Not Yours
From the Daily Reflections of October 15;
Gossip barbed with our anger, a polite form of murder by character assassination, has its satisfactions for us, too. Here we are not trying to help those we criticize; we are trying to proclaim our own righteousness. (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 67)
Sometimes I don’t realize that I gossiped about someone until the end of the day, when I take an inventory of the day’s activities, and then, my gossiping appears like a blemish in my beautiful day. How could I have said something like that? Gossip shows its ugly head during a coffee break or lunch with business associates, or I may gossip during the evening, when I’m tired from the day’s activities, and feel justified in bolstering my ego at the expense of someone else.
Character defects like gossip sneak into my life when I am not making a constant effort to work the Twelve Steps of recovery. I need to remind myself that my uniqueness is the blessing of my being, and that applies equally to everyone who crosses my path in life’s journey. Today the only inventory I need to take is my own. I’ll leave judgment of others to the Final Judge — Divine Providence.
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There are two individual attributes that are discussed in this contribution that, when I perceive them threatened, I might react with gossip; my righteousness and my uniqueness. If I am righteous, I am justified in the power placed in my hands. If I am unique in this culture of mass production, I have demonstrated the value of my individuality. I can lift myself higher than my peers as more righteous and unique by seeking personal excellence or by attacking those who threaten my current claims. I say ‘or’ because I believe they are mutually exclusive propositions. Those who pursue excellence give others the permission and encouragement to do the same. They are inclusive in their upward climb. The treacherous gossiper cannot build long term trust in relationships and his exclusiveness pushes him toward isolating selfishness. The tenth step can allow me to see the logical conclusion of my current actions and alter course before the painful tragedy ensnares my life. The path of inclusive empowerment requires a personal inventory rather that overrides a personal hit-list.
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