Endigar 574 ~ Unremitting Inventories

From the Daily Reflections of October 13;

Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.   (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 84)

The immediate admission of wrong thoughts or actions is a tough task for most human beings, but for recovering alcoholics like me it is difficult because of my propensity toward ego, fear and pride. The freedom the A.A. program offers me becomes more abundant when, through unremitting inventories of myself, I admit, acknowledge and accept responsibility for my wrong-doing. It is possible then for me to grow into a deeper and better understanding of humility. My willingness to admit when the fault is mine facilitates the progression of my growth and helps me to become more understanding and helpful to others.

 

END OF QUOTE

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glowing plants

Humility is something that I can easily associate with being a beaten, sad, servant to the harsh voices of self-loathing.  That is the state of humiliation given me in my active alcoholism.  Humility does not come from the inward duress of self-hatred.   The recovery program begins to feed me the confidence that my life can change as demonstrated in the abstinence of alcohol and the mysterious state of neutrality towards it that is given to us in the process.  I then gain realizations that I am so much more when I have a character worth sharing.  I see that all that I desire to have in my own life is made truly possible in the respect of other lives.  My greatest force for my personal empowerment comes from recognizing my part in a disturbing situation and using that as a seed of spiritual transformation in unity with the Fellowship and Gomu (God of my understanding).

[Image by Dan Saunders via Bioglow]

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