Endigar 557 ~ Our Children

From Daily Reflections of September 26;

The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish friendly relations with his children. . . . In time they will see that he is a new man and in their own way they will let him know it. . . . From that point on, progress will be rapid.  Marvelous results often follow such a reunion.   (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 134)

While on the road to recovery I received a gift that could not be purchased. It was a card from my son in college, saying, “Dad, you can’t imagine how glad I am that everything is okay. Happy Birthday, I love you.” My son had told me that he loved me before. It had been during the previous Christmas holidays, when he had said to me, while crying, “Dad, I love you! Can’t you see what you’re doing to yourself?” I couldn’t. Choked with emotion, I had cried, but this time, when I received my son’s card, my tears were tears of joy, not desperation.





This has become a painful area for me.  I lost a stepson to this disease, and my other son is not communicating with me because of my disease.  He is in his own world of pain.  I am responsible for some of it.  This is out of my hands, and there is nothing I would like more to be under my control because the relationship is so very significant.  My isolated self ego sees injustice and does not want to succeed on someone else’s terms, not even someone I love.  My righteous indignation is a call for emotional suicide.

I will not get or stay sober because anyone I love wants me to.  So, what will I do then?  What will those like me do?  I am so tired of hospital visits and brushes with the law for chemically induced stupidity.  I am tired of my ambitions leaving me spiritually bankrupt.

There is a solution.  I believe that.  I will keep coming back.  If I fall seven times, I will get up eight.  I have experienced recovery in bits and pieces.  And maybe I can have a good story of restored relationships, as is recorded here.  My first restored relationship must be with my God.

——– Upadte (September 2021) ———-

I now have what I consider to be open and genuine relationships with both my son and daughter. Both have affirmed my positive contributions to their lives. I am beyond grateful.

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