Endigar 555 ~ Vigilance
From Daily Reflections of September 24;
We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again: “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.” Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever. If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 33)
Today I am an alcoholic. Tomorrow will be no different. My alcoholism lives within me now and forever. I must never forget what I am. Alcohol will surely kill me if I fail to recognize and acknowledge my disease on a daily basis. I am not playing a game in which a loss is a temporary setback. I am dealing with my disease, for which there is no cure, only daily acceptance and vigilance.
END OF QUOTE
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Drinking alcohol as a desirable way of life will always haunt me. There are a thousand different ways I can find to justify it and overcome all sane objections. To drink again is inevitable unless something happens. What is that something? Why do some of us get it, and others, such as myself, fall prey to that familiar seduction over and over again? I want to support the twelve steps and the recovery network, for through these I have walked through many meadows of sobriety. My life is improved. According to most optimistic life expectancy stats, I have maybe a little more than thirty years to live. My vigilance is a temporary tour of duty. I have certain highs and lows I will have to endure during that time. I can ill afford extreme reactions. I must keep true to acceptance and serenity based on trust and connection. I am returning to my post. Thirty more years one day at a time.
Daily Reprieve 
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