Endigar 471 ~ Identifying Fear . . .

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear. . . .   (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 76)

When I feel uncomfortable, irritated, or depressed, I look for fear. This “evil and corroding thread” is the root of my distress: Fear of failure; fear of others’ opinions; fear of harm, and many other fears. I have found a Higher Power who does not want me to live in fear and, as a result, the experience of A.A. in my life is freedom and joy. I am no longer willing to live with the multitude of character defects that characterized my life while I was drinking. Step Seven is my vehicle to freedom from these defects. I pray for help in identifying the fear underneath the defect, and then I ask God to relieve me of that fear. This method works for me without fail and is one of the great miracles of my life in Alcoholics Anonymous.

END OF QUOTE

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I see the self-centered, isolated fear as a vacuum sucking for power and finding little or none to meet life on life’s terms.  Those terms involve the inability to keep control of my environment.  It is the natural reaction to the realization that in many areas, I am powerless.  I am being retrained to look for a spiritual rather than a chemical remedy.

Fear can also be an opportunity to get to know my Higher Power.  It is a way that I get to know more about Gomu (God of my understanding) and the nature of our relationship.  Eventually, my fear list becomes a very specific faith list.  Fear of public performance introduces me to the God of public courage.  Fear of being misunderstood introduces me to the God of clear and accurate communication.

I believe that it is a spiritual maxim that I will become like that which a consistently focus on.  Obsessing over my fear gives me more reason to fear.  Meditating on the particulars of my simple faith causes me to naturally emulate my Higher Power.

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