Endigar 438 ~ Entirely Ready?

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

“This is the Step that separates the men from the boys.”. . . the difference between “the boys and the men” is the difference between striving for a self- determined objective and for the perfect objective which is of God. . . . It is suggested that we ought to become entirely willing to aim toward perfection. . . . The moment we say, “No, never!” our minds close against the grace of God. . . . This is the exact point at which we abandon limited objectives, and move toward God’s will for us.   (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pages 63, 68, 69)

Am I entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character? Do I know at long last that I cannot save myself? I have come to believe that I cannot. If I am unable, if my best intentions go wrong, if my desires are selfishly motivated and if my knowledge and will are limited — then I am ready to embrace God’s will for my life.

END OF QUOTE

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Entirely willing to aim toward perfection.  The word perfection makes me nauseated.  It sounds like the ultimate in an obsessive compulsive life.  It sounds like the religious suppression of individuality for the sake of some sterile icon of stoicism.  It sounds like the end of spiritual adventure, because the answer has been found.  I have no desire to be that kind of perfect.  That kind of perfection-seeking was very much a part of my old self.   I don’t think it is supposed to be that way.

I have regarded the people in my life who have made statements such as “this will separate the men from the boys,” as neanderthal-like  knuckle draggers who are seeking control over the weak minded and insecure.  I do not want the vulnerabilities that my alcoholism has created in my life to be exploited as an opportunity to echo the vision of Constantine the Great; “In This Sign Conquer.”

In order for me to embrace this step, I have to trust that there is a better perfection than the swill served in Churchian dungeons.  I have to trust that there is a maturing into manhood that allows me to have a brain.  I have to trust that my God loves my individual expression as much or better than I do myself, and that this process is leading me to the fulfillment of the en-coined mantra “To Thine Own Self Be True.”

For me, I must keep a boundary between the Spirituality of Gomu (God of my understanding) and the Religion of Man.  I do recognize that they may not always be mutually exclusive, but I remain suspicious.

To balance the negative impact that may cause me to veer too close to the isolating “No, never!” I have included some quotes from Joseph Campbell:

“Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.”

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

“If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living.  Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.”

“All religions are true but none are literal. . . Half the people in the world think that the metaphors of their religious traditions, for example, are facts. And the other half contends that they are not facts at all. As a result we have people who consider themselves believers because they accept metaphors as facts, and we have others who classify themselves as atheists because they think religious metaphors are lies.”

“The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe to match your nature with Nature.”

“Your sacred space is where you can find yourself over and over again.”

Now, I am entirely ready.

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