Endigar 421 ~ Giving Without Strings

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

And he well knows that his own life has been made richer, as an extra dividend of giving to another without any demand for a return.   (As Bill Sees It, page 69)

The concept of giving without strings was hard to understand when I first came into the program. I was suspicious when others wanted to help me. I thought, “What do they want in return?” But I soon learned the joy of helping another alcoholic and I understood why they were there for me in the beginning. My attitudes changed and I wanted to help others. Sometimes I became anxious, as I wanted them to know the joys of sobriety, that life can be beautiful. When my life is full of a loving God of my understanding and I give that love to my fellow alcoholic, I feel a special richness that is hard to explain.

END OF QUOTE

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In the beginning I had problems trusting the assertion that the hand of AA was there without an expectation of payment or religious empire building.  I perceived that when people start throwing around the words God and Love,  they actually mean Social Control and Financial Leaching.  “I will pray for you” translated to “I feel pity for you,” or “screw you, your going to hell, may thy downward chute be well lubricated.”

The foundation for the reconstruction of my perceptions was the realization that giving and service in AA was based on a mutual need for survival.  If we do not find a way to give away that which we gained through the recovery program, we begin to lose it.  I came in looking for the secret selfish motive that I believed all “givers” in society have.  Then I discovered it .  They want to stay alive, and then they want to enjoy living.

Ultimately, more is built upon that foundation of a daily reprieve.  It is so much more than survival.  It is the connection of  Friendship.  Miraculous transformations in life.  Seeing my faith in Gomu (God of my understanding) validated.  It is so much more than I expected.  It is an enrichment.

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