Endigar 409 ~ A New Sense of Belonging
From Today’s Daily Reflections;
Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn’t belong. (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 57)
After four years in A.A. I was able to discover the freedom from the burden of buried emotions that had caused me so much pain. With the help of A.A., and extra counseling, the pain was released and I felt a complete sense of belonging and peace. I also felt a joy and a love of God that I had never experienced before. I am in awe of the power of Step Five.
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Connection. I need it. I suspect that we all do on some level. The invisible barrier of self-protection that I exaggerate in my heart from fortress to prison fails to protect me from myself. I lived locked up with an internal judge dogging my heals. Sometimes, I drank to make those persistent condemnations shut up, because my only reprieve was an isolated oblivion.
I was recently encouraged to allow myself to become vulnerable. I asked what she meant about being vulnerable. “Vulnerable enough to look for help, to talk to your sponsor or someone you wish were your sponsor when that’s the next right thing to do.”
The liberating vulnerability of the fifth step is as powerful as my willingness to embrace complete candor about those internal conflicts.
Daily Reprieve 
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