Endigar 405 ~ Respect for Others

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

Such parts of our story we tell to someone who will understand, yet be unaffected. The rule is we must be hard on ourself, but always considerate of others.  (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 74)

Respect for others is the lesson that I take out of this passage. I must go to any lengths to free myself if I wish to find that peace of mind that I have sought for so long. However, none of this must be done at another’s expense. Selfishness has no place in the A.A. way of life.

When I take the Fifth Step it’s wiser to choose a person with whom I share common aims because if that person does not understand me, my spiritual progress may be delayed and I could be in danger of a relapse. So I ask for divine guidance before choosing the man or woman whom I take into my confidence.



Must I now consider a magical element of this program?  After I have established some form of relationship with a loving Higher Power, I must ask for guidance in the choosing of a sponsor or one who I can trust with my completed moral inventory.  It must not be the product of isolating selfishness.  This cuts off vital connections.  Whoever I tell it to, must not be harmed in the telling.  In order to hear from a loving Gomu (God of my understanding), I must be loving.  Even if just long enough to hear.

I disagree that selfishness has no place in A.A., because there is a self-love, a self-preservation, that gets me into the rooms and causes me to be willing to go to any lengths for sobriety.

On page 62 of Alcoholics Anonymous, it states that “Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness.”  It does not say that we are to be rid of selfishness, but THIS selfishness.  What kind of selfishness?  Prior to the statement isolating selfishness is described.  It is a good read, particularly with this in mind.

That is why you can hear that this is a “selfish program” and we must be “rid of this selfishness,” and both be absolutely true.


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