Endigar 353 ~ As we understand Him

From Today’s Daily Reflection;

My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea . . . “Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?”  That statement hit me hard.  It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years.  I stood in the sunlight at last.  It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself.  Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning.  (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 12)

I remember the times I looked up into the sky and reflected on who started it all, and how.  When I came to A.A., an understanding of some description of the spiritual dimension became a necessary adjunct to a stable sobriety.  After reading a variety of versions, including the scientific, of a great explosion, I went for simplicity and made the God of my understanding the Great Power that made the explosion possible.  With the vastness of the universe under His command, He would, no doubt, be able to guide my thinking and actions if I was prepared to accept His guidance.  But I could not expect help if I turned my back on that help and went my own way.  I became willing to believe and I have had 26 years of stable and satisfying sobriety.




The prospect of choosing my own concept of God was heretical to my previous way of thinking.  I was religious and there were certain fundamental doctrines that directed my concept of God.  Much like alcohol, my confined religious system supporting my isolated ego would turn on me like a boomerang and cut me to shreds.  I lost my faith in God.  I wanted to believe, but no longer had the ability to do so.  I was in spiritual grief, mourning the death of God.

This beautiful heresy was absolutely critical to my recovery.  I am no longer a churchian.  I have a new relationship with Gomu (God of my understanding).  It is a much more simple and loving union for my spirit.  This is not a judgment against my fellow humans who find their God in the various churches and temples on planet Earth.  If that works to empower you, to free you, to manifest the true you, then so be it.  Amen to you and your concept of God.

I have an idea that Jesus Christ is a real entity who was designated to reveal a way for mortal humans to become embryonic gods and goddesses.  I have another idea that there was a Roman conspiracy to hijack the spirituality of his teachings to better control slaves and conquer opposing cultures.  “In hoc signo vinces.”  This idea follows a logical conclusion that centralized religion carries on this legacy of social oppression and obscures the magic of the Messianic teachings.  I reject the notion that all human beings are to be converted to this centralized religion that I now call churchianity.  I use that term to differ church-going from the actual non-religious and magical teachings of Jesus.  From what I have read in scriptures, there are certain individuals who are chosen and become a member of the “elect.”  Those who are members of the elect will be drawn to the Messiah and His teachings.  The goal is to overcome mortal humanity, not to spread an “us and them” religion.  Although I cannot escape the reality that I am a part of the elect, I reject the Greek concept of an eternal hell for those who chose a different path.  In fact, it excites me to see the rise of the Individual.  I reject the cross and embrace the empty tomb.

Bill W. brought forth several tenants from the Oxford movement that he saw as effective, and discarded those tenants that acted only to suffocate his fellow sufferers in a mire of religious doctrine.  I seek to do the same in my rekindled spirituality.


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