I recently decided to make a personal covenant with the GOMU (God of my understanding). It was based off of some work that I had done when I was Christian. I was drawn to this Messianic Christian church and so I decided to go, to see if anything would happen. The Torah lesson/discussion was led by Rabbi Solomon. It just happened to be on the covenant, more specifically, the Covenant with Abraham. I saw this as confirmation that the entity that cares about me saw the covenant, and focused in on the aspect of it that had to do with Abraham.
I had been so well received, had been honored in so many ways, that I thought I might attend, even if my beliefs I suspected did not match the church doctrines. I decided to make contact through their website to ensure that I would not knowingly deceived the leadership. What follows is our interactive correspondence:
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Sent: Friday, June 28, 2013 6:07 PM
Subject: Contact
I enjoyed your Torah study last Saturday morning. I heard in the service that requirements for membership are threefold;
Attendance
Tithe
Talents
The tithe is easy. Attendance is fairly easy. Providing talents is a little more intimate.
I do not wish to mislead those who currently minister and count themselves as members of the synagogue.
I am not Jewish, and by most definitions, I probably do not qualify as a Christian. I am somewhere between agnosticism and deism.
I am interested in power. I am ambitious. And it is my quest for spiritual power that has lead me to your doorstep.
I read the following article:
THE SEVENTH COVENANT
I attempted to prayerfully listen and write out my own individual covenant. During the course of the week, I drove by the synagogue and decided to attend, with the hope of some form of confirmation. The Torah study was on the covenant made with Abraham. Synchronicity. So, I spoke to this God who seems to care about my little covenant with Him. If it is all right, I will continue to attend. If not, I will leave. I will also tithe to honor this attempt at a relationship with God.
As for the talents…I have no clue as to the appropriate way to respond.
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Sent: Saturday, June 29, 2013 2:18 PM
Subject: Shalom Rick
Shalom Rick
Thank you for your email. First of all, membership to Beth Hallel contains a public declaration that Yeshua is your Messiah, who restores the person in relationship to the G-d of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. You certainly are not that.
Yes, you are welcome to attend as a visitor. Your article that you pasted in about the Seven Covenants, and especially the parts about the Anti-Father is strange. I do not see much truth in those descriptions.
Beth Hallel teaches the Word of G-d, and this Word of G-d (the Bible) is the inspired Word of G-d, and is profitable for all teaching and correction. There are absolutes to our existence. There is a Heaven to Gain, and hell to shun. That is the reality that you need the Holy Spirit to reveal to you.
Introduce yourself to me sometime. You are welcome to attend and hear about the One True G-d. Shalom,
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Sent: Saturday, June 29, 2013 7:01 PM
Subject: Re: Shalom Rick
Thank-you for your response, Darek.
I will then continue on as a visitor.
If the Holy Spirit reveals such a reality to me, well, I will respond.
Thank-you once again, and I look forward to meeting you.
Rick
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Sent: Monday, July 1, 2013 11:59 AM
Subject: Re: Shalom Rick
The Holy Spirit has ALREADY revealed such a response to you. You just don’t accept it.
The Holy Bible is the authoritative Word of G-d, written through vessels empowered by the Holy Spirit. You simply are choosing to not believe the Bible at this point.
There is no other explanation to universal existence that makes any sense except the historical account of our Creation and meaning found within Scripture.
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Sent: Tuesday, July 2, 2013 12:14 AM
Subject: Re: Shalom Rick
Darek, what is it that you are trying to achieve in your discourse with me? Are you attempting to persuade me to some course of action? Is it a veiled attempt to drive me away from your congregation? Do you feel defensive of your doctrines?
If you want me to stay away, I most certainly will do so. Just tell me directly.
I feel as if you are talking at me, and not to me.
When I am among you and your congregation, I will not argue or sow seeds of discord. I will not knowingly undercut whatever positive work you are doing through your synagogue. I will be reciprocally respectful.
I will answer any questions as truthfully as possible. But if you already have it all figured out, know what I am thinking, what I have heard, and what I need, then there is no recourse left for me but to politely smile and go my way.
Good night, Darek.
Rick
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Sent: Tuesday, July 2, 2013 8:39 AM
Subject: Re: Shalom Rick
Shalom Rick,
I am a very direct person. I don’t beat around the bush. When I see a statement that I believe is misinformed, I am going to say so.
Also, you engaged me in a conversation, not vice versa.
You have also assumed a lot in your latest response to me; assumptions that have no bearing in reality, and they were assumptions that cannot be warranted based on our very limited scope of conversation. Ex. me being worried about seeds of discord, etc. There was nothing in my comments that you could have pulled that conclusion from. That tells me the framework from which you make decisions has some negative filters built in that color your perception of reality.
If you choose to leave, that is up to you. But, if you are really searching for truth, like you claim, then you should welcome very candid and direct discourse. In my opinion.
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Sent: Tuesday, July 2, 2013 12:16 PM
Subject: Re: Shalom Rick
If you would have asked, I would have told you that I most certainly have some “negative filters” based on past experience with those who speak as you do. No detective work necessary.
Indeed, I engaged you in conversation to introduce myself and to be open with you. I guess I have achieved that agenda.
In spite of your talk about directness, I still do not know what your own purpose in the conversation is. I have asked questions rather than make assumptions. In this interaction, I walk in the reality that you have crafted for me with your assertions.
Please let me know if I understand from this last missive, if this is a correct interpretation of your words:
I asked, “what is it that you are trying to achieve in your discourse with me? Are you attempting to persuade me to some course of action?”
Your words that might go with this question are, “When I see a statement that I believe is misinformed, I am going to say so.” and “if you are really searching for truth, like you claim, then you should welcome very candid and direct discourse. In my opinion.”
Extrapolated Answer: You are attempting to help me in my search for truth.
I asked, ” Is it a veiled attempt to drive me away from your congregation? Do you feel defensive of your doctrines?”
Words I suspect are relevant to this inquiry;
“If you choose to leave, that is up to you. But…” and “assumptions that have no bearing in reality…Ex. me being worried about seeds of discord, etc.”
Extrapolated Answer: No.
Is that accurate?
And if so, what do you have to offer in my continuing search for truth? I am interested.
Rick
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Sent: Tuesday, July 2, 2013 1:55 PM
Subject: Re: Shalom Rick
Shalom Rick, I will answer below your direct statements.
If you would have asked, I would have told you that I most certainly have some “negative filters” based on past experience with those who speak as you do. No detective work necessary.
No need to ask, I recognized it quickly.
Indeed, I engaged you in conversation to introduce myself and to be open with you. I guess I have achieved that agenda.
Yes you have.
In spite of your talk about directness, I still do not know what your own purpose in the conversation is.
To respond in truth, bluntly.
I have asked questions rather than make assumptions.
questions often imply assumptions.
In this interaction, I walk in the reality that you have crafted for me with your assertions.
Not sure I follow.
Please let me know if I understand from this last missive, if this is a correct interpretation of your words:
I asked, “what is it that you are trying to achieve in your discourse with me? Are you attempting to persuade me to some course of action?”
Your words that might go with this question are, “When I see a statement that I believe is misinformed, I am going to say so.” and “if you are really searching for truth, like you claim, then you should welcome very candid and direct discourse. In my opinion.”
Extrapolated Answer: You are attempting to help me in my search for truth.
Right
I asked, ” Is it a veiled attempt to drive me away from your congregation? Do you feel defensive of your doctrines?”
Words I suspect are relevant to this inquiry;
“If you choose to leave, that is up to you. But…” and “assumptions that have no bearing in reality…Ex. me being worried about seeds of discord, etc.”
Extrapolated Answer: No.
correct.
Is that accurate?
And if so, what do you have to offer in my continuing search for truth? I am interested.
The teachings on Tuesday morning, Tuesday night, Friday night, and Saturday morning. I am personally teaching tonight at 7:00, Friday night and Saturday morning of this week. Shalom
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I went to the Friday night Shabat service, and it was a repeat of services I experienced in non-denominational churches so long ago. It was dressed up with Hebrew liturgy and opened the “Ark” to walk the Torah around so people could touch it with their Bibles and then kiss their Bibles, to demonstrate how precious their physical access to the Word of “G-D” is.
So I got something in the beginning when it was just me and my God. But when I included church, it was absolutely dead. Everything Darek said, I have heard before.
I know I will not return. There is no reason I should. The interaction would not be beneficial to me or them.
This event left me drained. The fear of being always misunderstood rose up and began to feast on my confidence. I made it to a meeting last night, and was included and connected, and they really did not care that I am heretical in my approach. It was at the Hoot Owl meeting that I was able to find the true Shalom of Gomu (which is what the topic was on; along with the reality that many would be dead or destroyed if recovery depended on connecting with the Churchian God of their youth.)
Today, I called my sponsor, and a friend. Left a message for another couple of friends. I am improving.
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This entry was posted on July 7, 2013 at 10:56 am and is filed under Uncategorized with tags Addiction, Alcoholism, Journal, Life, Personal, Recovery, Spirituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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Daily Reprieve 
July 7, 2013 at 5:52 pm
Directed to me in regards to this post; “…i wonder today, after reading Your post, if Master has finally learned to leave religion to the religious.” I wonder as well.
July 16, 2013 at 4:01 pm
“I just wanted to say that I apologize for being aggressive, even rude in my interaction with you. I appreciate the time you took from you busy schedule to respond to me. The Friday night service was beautiful, and the people seemed happy. ” ~ I sent to the pastor.