Daily Reprieve

Change Me or kill Me.  But do not ignore Me. 

I am in this program to gain power, to be empowered.  I will finish the amends.  I will do this.  Me.  I will sponsor on a 4 x 3 or 3 x 4 matrix.  I will do this.  Me.   And then I am finished.

If I am behaving stupidly, teach Me. 

I am tired of cringing from judgment, afraid of who I will disappoint next.  Give me a faith that is faithful to Me!  I am either everything to You, or I am nothing.  Don’t love Me because that is what is in your nature to do.  That is insulting.  Love Me because You have something unique and special going on with Me.  I would rather that you be totally turned on by Me, or hunt Me down in hatred.  But if you are simply disinterested in Me, I will spew you out of My mouth like vinegar given to a dying man.

I want superhuman, supernatural, universe rippling power. 

I don’t think I or any mortal who seeks the same is asking too much.  We are tired of being the scapegoat for Your “issues.”

Why do you hide in the dark, oh God.  Come out into the open so that your deeds can be seen and rightly appraised.  Have a real relationship with us.  Or get it over with and blot out our existence.

My sponsor has asked me to give Him His seven-year token this afternoon.  I will do this.  Me.  Because I value Him and the special place He holds in My life. 

I have already walked the path of religion.  For Me, it is the way of socially re-enforced denial. 

If you come to My door and knock, I will ask You in.  If you come in the back window and lurk in the shadows like a thief in the night, I will seek to expel you as an intruder.  Can you blame Me?  Truly, can You?

This entry was posted on September 14, 2010 at 4:47 pm and is filed under Uncategorized with tags Addiction, Alcoholism, Journal, Life, Personal, Recovery, Spirituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.