Endigar 135

AA COMES OF AGE, Pages 69-70

In my first conversation with Dr. Bob, I bore down heavily on the medical hopelessness of his case, freely using Dr. Silkworth’s words describing the alcoholic’s dilemma, the “obsession plus allergy” theme.  Though Bob was a doctor, this was news to him, bad news.  And the fact that I was an alcoholic and knew what I was talking about from personal experience made the blow a shattering one.

You see, our talk was a completely mutual thing.  I had quit preaching.  I knew that I needed this alcoholic as mush as he needed me.

“I had quit preaching.”  What a relief when others quit preaching, or when I no longer feel the need to do so.  Let’s just talk.  Be real.  Get honest.  Realize that we are all in this together.  I love the freedom and reality of this spiritual program.  I can also feel it when that religious spirit seeks to hijack the program into social acceptability.  People start saying the right thing.  We start verbally dressing up who we are.  And it doesn’t matter what group you are talking about.  Wiccans and Pagans do the same thing as Christians, Jews, and Muslims.  When we become fractionated into identity booster groups, filled with some form of protective religious pride, our fortress becomes an isolating prison.

OH MY GOD!  I am preaching about not preaching!  Ok, the reality for me is that I am free.  When I am not afraid or feeling guilty or angry, I really like who I am.  For me, it seems that gratitude is easy when I like who I am and when my disease isn’t right in my face.


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