Endigar 100
Ok, I’m through with that. I feel better when I am in lust than when I’m coddling romantic notions of transcendant bonds of destiny. How can I be accountable for a life I cannot fully remember and may not even be real. I do not need additional forces to help me second guess myself.
I did go out and get some Neil Diamond including his newest album, Home After Dark. There was one song on there ~ One More Bite of the Apple that really helped me. I went to it first because of the unusual mention in my third step prayer “Thank-you for one more apple to eat a bite at a time.”
Anyway, in this life, I have not left anyone in a burning building to save myself. So screw all that shit. I guess I have an adverse reaction to media that is too gentle. I have got to get some violence and darkness into me before I disintergrate.
I also have to get out of my head. Too much mental masturbation going on. A meeting. Going to start calling the network.
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