Endigar 73

I don’t know why I don’t give my sponsor credit for the experience and good advise he gives, and why I put so much my stock in my own isolation.  I got to talk to him this morning, when his cell came back into range and he discovered that I had been having a hard time.  I am trying to use a mind that is not yet healed.  I tracked back to a point last week when I turned my attention away from helping my sponsees to some more self indulgent pursuits.  I still have some issues about having to meet Sponsee Two at a church sponsored recovery program, and I think that it activated this fear of being sucked back into that realm of social and behavioral control.  I am no longer protected by my fierce anger.  But it all is beginning to make sense again, now that I have ridden the storm out and seen the tools of the program begin to bring me back into sanity.  Oops, the question man has returned:

Yes, we had only answered the first seven questions of the twelve I had for you, based on the ninth step promises.  So let us pick up the next one, now that you are back with us:

 8.  Has your whole attitude and outlook on life changed? 

Can I truly answer this question?  I have definitely had an attitude adjustment and my outlook on life is so much more positive and resilient than it has been.  But I generally shy away from all inclusive words and broad sweeping conclusions.  The phrase “whole attitude and outlook” is beyond my scope.  I am only able to answer because the question doesn’t add “completely changed.” 

So my answer is yes, with qualifications.

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